Career Decisions, Career Decisions

Within the last couple of weeks, my supervisor gave me a very challenging assignment. She wants me to decide what I want my career path to be within the agency and to write a narrative on why I deserve a raise compared to the other administrative assistants. That assignment I think is going to be the most difficult. Difficult mostly because a) I don’t know how my position compares to the other assistants in the agency (we all work for different programs), b) because I don’t feel that it is right for me to compare myself to others in order to get a raise, and c) because, from what I’ve been told, this agency doesn’t give raises at all except for COL raises. So why on earth she would want a narrative from me on why I should get a raise, I don’t know. I’ll do it anyway though.

I think I’ve almost come to a decision for the first assignment. Although that depends on a lot more things than who leaves the agency when. In the narrative, I think I’m going to keep it general though. I think I would be in one of three positions: business or assistant manager of the program I am currently in, Executive Assistant to the CEO, or the Executive Assistant/Headstart “Coordinator” (I don’t know the exact position name). If I can learn the position without officially expanding my education, I will. At least for the time being. I would like to at least get my bachelor’s eventually. I had considered going into the for-profit arena again, but felt that it didn’t reflect my values, goals in life, or my personality. Now, to be a manager, or in a role that has authority, goes against some fears of mine. Mostly to do with confrontation and making people do things that they don’t want too. But I’ve come to the realization that if I don’t ever put myself into situations that require this, I’m not going to learn how to deal with it. The skills necessary to deal with confrontation and uncomfortable social situations are not something that I want to go without. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll have a lot to learn other than that as well, but those are my main sticking points.

I have learned, perhaps the hard way, that you have to live with the decisions you make. Not matter how much you think about, worry about, or wish you hadn’t is every going to change the past. It is what it is. The only thing we can change is now, and hopefully what we do now will affect the future positively. This might be a main reason I’m having difficulty with this very large, life changing decision.

Christmas Vacation

Christmas was good this year, although not as exciting or festive as normal. It had, none the less, some interesting surprises.  My vacation started on Christmas Eve. We went and visited family and didn’t get home until around midnight. A very long day. Matthew and I were both very tired, but Vincent was well behaved in the car. Meaning he slept most of the way, as did my sister.

Christmas vacation as a whole, has been restful; although I can hardly believe that it is almost over. I have been trying to use this time to renew myself and find a base for the next year. This past year, I have realized, I have spent focused on others to my detriment. This next year, I am going to focus on taking care of myself. I need to restablize, find focus, and live deliberately. This is something I probably should have done last year, but somehow never found the time. I hope that I will be able to keep this up throughout the year, Lord willing.

Among the changes being made, Matthew and I have started to attend one of the local Baptist churches. We haven’t been very good about regular attendance, but we’ll get there. Trying to take it slowly. Baby steps seem to be key, even though I’ve tried but always want to go full force. Hopefully this time I’ll get it.

We’ve decided to try for another baby, Matthew and I, and I’m curious to see how long it takes without trying persay. We’re just trying to let it happen when it does. I’ve also been thinking more strongly about continuing my education, but probably won’t until after we’ve had the new baby.

I’ve recently taken up Yoga. It looks like it will be fun as long as I can keep  it up. That’s all for now…