Update

This month has been crazy!!! It’s hard to believe that it’s almost over – and almost August.  My son has added many words to his vocabulary – he’s even said he was “sorry”.  The apartment is really nice, and only about a half hours walk to work.  Only problem with walking – getting honked at and called “babe”, but it doesn’t happen all the time.  Although, the time I was called “babe” I was just waiting to cross the street infront of my house.

We had our family reunion this last Sunday – and the pasta salad that I brought was completely gone two hours into the reunion.  I saw my entire family for the first time in an year or two (except for my brother) and one of my uncles that I haven’t seen in like 5 years!  It’s amazing how much older everyone is now.  The picnic also brought the possibility of other changes in the future, but they aren’t for sure, so I won’t mention them yet.  You’ll just have to wait… lol!

It’s been awhile…

Hello!  It’s been a long time since I posted, and I’m sorry.  You would not believe how hectic life has been lately!   We’ve finally moved into our new apartment; and oh my word was it a mess.  We moved in on Monday, while my father-in-law watched our son.  That was a long day.  The next morning I could barely move – I was so stiff.  We’re almost all the way unpacked, and the neighbors seem friendly – thank goodness.  We’ve got some much left to do!   G2G!!

Memorial Day Weekend

This weekend has been very busy, and the weather not always very cooperative.  The company I work for had an employee appreciation day this last Friday, and it was cold! It was also very fun.  I got to play Pictionary with fellow co-workers.

We are going on a picnic today, and we are bringing, among other things, a fruit basket.  A hollowed about basket of watermelon with watermelon, musk melons, strawberries, and blueberries in it.  I’ve never made one before, so I hope it goes over well.  We’ll see.  More later….

Depression?

I’m really not sure what to do.  My husband has been acting really depressed lately and I have no idea what to do about it.  It seems like he should be happy – we’re going to be getting a new apartment in town and he has a shot at his dream of being a stay-at-home dad and painter.  I can understand being sad to a point since his sister is going to be moving to Boston shortly and his parents are having it ruff (they just got their foreclosure notice).  When I ask him if he is okay, he says that he is fine, but that is not what his actions or attitude are expressing.  I tried to cheer him up last night by buying him desert and soda and the movie Transformers.  It seemed to make him happier for a time, but today he seems all depressed again.

Any suggestions?

Confusion and Resolutions

Life seems to become more and more confusing as it goes on. You know how it seems like you have everything down (figuratively, of course), and then something happens and you have to go back and reevaluate everything all over again? Well, that has happened to me in a rather severe way, and actually has been happening for a while, but I am just getting to the point in my recovery from past experiences (aka. being disowned, my family moving away, my pastors betraying me, and other incidents that all occurred within a very short period of time) were I could even come to the place of confronting it.

When I did come to that point, it was very overwhelming. It seemed that everything I had stood for, everything I believed in, was all in question, as if it wasn’t necessarily true. That is a very scary place. It, honestly, didn’t help that my husband is also in that place, but at least that means that we can work on it together instead of one of us seeming better than the other. Well, I still haven’t resolved all those questions, but I have to keep it under control (the emotional stress, etc.), as it was interrupting my life to the point where I wasn’t sleeping well and was having panic attacks. I know, it might sound like I’m overdoing it, but this is very important to me, and, I am sure, is also very important to anyone who comes across a situation like this. It’s funny how things don’t seem as important until you don’t have them anymore. Anyway, I’ve decided to tackle it one thing at a time (as per my husband’s suggestion – thank you), and not believe that everything (including the existence of God) is necessarily wrong, but look for the truths that would either prove or disprove it. This sounds like a very daunting task, and I have only started – it’s going to take a very long time.

In other news, I am thinking about trying to take up dancing again. Only problem is that I don’t have anyone to dance with or to teach me. I’ve looked up the local dance studios, but it is more money than I have right now. Maybe later. Part of the reason that I decided to undertake this, is because I need something to keep my mind of off the more difficult end of work – the extent and horribleness of domestic violence, sexual assault, and similar things that I must deal with on a day-to-day basis. My husband also bought me a folding craft table for Mother’s Day, so I will be able to pick back up the doll house project and I will be able to work on my puzzles without consistently having to only get so far and then tear it back up again. So that will be nice.

I’ve also been thinking about my friendships lately. There is a lot of possibility for me to develop friendships with the people I work with – they are my age (for the most part), and I am on the same organizational level as them, so it isn’t unethical. My past/current friendships are also problematic. Some of them I would like to get back in touch with (I think, maybe), and others that I’m just not sure if it healthy anymore. Like my one friend from highschool who seems to have decided that she is better than me and started flirting with my husband. Thank goodness I can trust him! Although, I can’t get him to understand that I just don’t trust girls that behave like that. For some reason he still thinks that it is him I don’t trust, which is just completely silly.